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..and it goes a little somethin' like this

Monday, April 19, 2004

..and aWAAAAAyyyYY We Go 

Alrighty folks. I warned you last week that I was going to be making a move. Where am I going?
Blogdrive, of course. A while back, I randomly came across a blog that was a Blogdrive blog, and I thought the look of it was pretty cool. (and I had already been thinking of making a change) WELL, it turns out that it's Free, too! And get This. Not only is it Free...but already integrated into every blog, is a free commenting system.
Guess what else. Can we say 'Free Integrated Tagboard' too?!?!

Ok, I'm feeling a little weird using Blogger to sing the praises of Blogdrive, so I'm going to stop. (BTW, BLOGGER is great. None of the problems I had were ever BLOGGER related. It's just time to move on)

Anyway, the new blog has a really cool, clean look, but I also ended up styling the color-scheme to resemble this one, so it won't be too much a shock to your senses. (ha ha)

And of course, if you are linked to my site, don't forget to change the link's url to the new one.

So, without further ado... http://www.k-blog.blogdrive.com

See you there!

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Soon to be happening 

Ok, so I figured the photo thing out. I was removed from the server, NOT for the Defamation of Character I have become so notorious for, but for using Angelfire as a warehouse for my images without creating a site through them. So, I will not be able to use them any longer.
However, all is not lost. I have discovered how to host the pics on my website. (I had to create a special folder for them)
Also, I suppose this is as good a time as any to announce that I will be moving. Or I should say, K-BLOG will be moving. I've had a nice run, here at Blogspot, but I think I have found a good and more appropriate home for my nonsensical typing fits.
I won't tell you where, YET. But, by Monday, I should be there, and I will let you all know at that time. (I'm still testing things out before I make the big switcharoo)

Can you stand the suspense?

Monday, April 12, 2004

What next? 

So, in addition to getting an e-mail saying that my tagboard is or Will Go temporarily offline, and being really sick, it now appears that I've been kicked off of my photo host. (it seems that I breached the account terms/agreement) It's been impossible for me to find out why, as they haven't responded to my e-mail, and let's be honest, who really reads those things anyway? But one guess is that I may have been reported to the server for my recent post about a certain Ray-Ban sporting guitar player. Cuz you know I'm a slanderous prick who's up to no good, right?
So anyway, now all of my images have been removed.

Any Ideas?

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Call me Chicken-Hawk 

So there's a rooster that lives in my neighborhood. Yes, in New York City. On the Upper East Side no less. And yes, every morning when the sun comes up, audible high above the rumble of diesel engines and angry couples yelling at each other, comes the screeching crow of this rooster.

'RR-rrr-RRRRrr! ...RR-rrr-RRRRrr!!'

It's actually slightly on the charming side. It definitely makes the walk to the subway an interesting one, and wakes you up from the overcast tenor of the morning commute.
But there was something different this morning. It's possible that I just hadn't paid that much attention before, or maybe I haven’t had my bedroom window open in a long time, but this morning, at 5:45 am, the rooster started going at it, and didn't stop for 25 minutes. My God!!! This was excruciating. I had always thought that roosters gave about 3 or 4 crows in the morning, and that was it. But this guy really had something to prove! Every five seconds. Just enough time for him to take a breath and scream out another crow. He was truly being a cock. (my apologies)
And no snooze button, of course. No, no. Achieving the desired snooze effect, would require walking down 4 flights of stairs, on out to the corner, and actually killing the thing.
How unbearable. Every once in a while, 30 seconds would go by, and I'd settle back down on my pillow, certain that it had finally finished.

... (quiet)

(more quiet)...

...(amazingly blissful hibernation quiet)...

R-rrr-RRRRrr!!!

Monday, April 05, 2004

Post on the way 

I'll post sometime in the afternoon, as work is currently kicking my ass.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

April Fools Day, Schmapril Schmools Schmay 

So, I am not really going to do anything today in the spirit of April Fools. ESPECIALLY since I will Die if I don’t share my big, huge, AMAZING news.
Although I am completely Blown Away by what has just happened, I will try to satisfy those readers who are expecting something April Fool’s oriented.
So, real quick, I’ll say that April Fools Day is pretty cool. I’ve always had fun with the prank thing. Yesterday, I was wondering how it all started. Here’s a little history. There have also been some amazingly elaborate pranks pulled over the years. Here’s a rundown of some of the best and most famous.

Ok. Now that I have THAT out of the way...You will NOT fucking believe what just happened. I have been keeping something from my friends & family for some time now. Purely because I was certain that it would not work out, and I would be left looking like a total idiot. What was I hiding? Well, I was hiding the fact that I had actually applied to be on the next season of The Apprentice.
For those of you who don’t know, The Apprentice is the AWESOME hit reality show created by Mark Burnett (creator of Survivor) & Donald Trump, where you compete with other business minded people to become the head of one of Trump’s businesses. It’s basically an involved and very elaborate job interview. It kicks ass!
From the first episode, I was hooked. So, when I was talking about it with a colleague, and he mentioned that they were going to start taking applications for the next season, in my mind, I made it my mission to be there. So, I did some investigating, and it turned out that they would have an all day screening in midtown. So I went down, and got in line outside the Today Show. It took forever. I was in line fore like 2 hours. They made you bring a resume, of course, a photo, and a 1 page paper about your expertise and why you deserved to be on the show. I took a gamble & chose to highlight my artistic endeavors as well as the fact that I specialize in Marketing for Nonprofits. Once I got in, then they got in my face with a video camera to see how I interacted in front of it. It was quite a bizarre feeling.

ANYWAY...to make a long story short, and even though I feel totally nauseous just saying it...this morning, I got the call of a lifetime. I’ve Been Picked!!!!!!!!! I can’t fucking believe it! I am going to be on The Apprentice!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!

My brain is going about a mile a minute. In fact, I just got home a few minutes ago. I had to skip work to go down to Trump Towers and sign contracts & meet everyone. Yes, even the ‘Donald’ himself. This is absolutely AWESOME. I feel like my brain is melting. (and Yes, his hair is real. Freaky, but real)
Anyway, I actually have to get back down there, and I also have to call my family to tell them, but I’ll leave you with this: I had my digital camera with me, (I’ve been taking it everywhere I go for the last 2 months) so I was able to get a cool photo of the other cast members and Mr. Trump. CHECK IT OUT & wish me luck!!!!!!
APPRENTICE photo with K-Dogg

Monday, March 29, 2004

His Future's So Bright... 



A friend recently told me that everyone has the right to express themselves artistically.

I suppose as an artist myself, by law, I am required to agree with this statement. Unfortunately, as an artist myself, by NATURE, I find it painfully difficult to accept.

One of the more contemporary tests to this theory is a guy named Esteban. Esteban is a guitarist who sells his CDs and his ridiculously crappy guitars on the Home Shopping Network.
He is a 50ish, ponytailed, white guy named Steve Paul. But rest assured, if you ever see him on the HSN, he’ll be wearing a pirate shirt, sunglasses, a black leather goucho hat, and he will be referred to as…ESTEBAN. Ole’!

I never would have heard of this guy had I not been flipping through the triple digit channels at 3a.m. on night, while he was pushing his ‘handmade’ guitars onto the unsuspecting public, via the televised spectacle that is the Home Shopping Network.

“Now Dianne, I want you to look at these 2 guitars. This is my vintage Martin flat top that’s worth about $14,000, this guitar is All Wood.
Now look at the one we’re selling here. I had this specially designed to my specifications, and you can buy it now for under $100. And this too, is an ALL WOOD guitar.”

Wowee. Did you here That? All Wood! Where else are you going to find a wooden guitar in today’s market?

He goes on and on about the ‘Tone’ of the instrument and the rosette design around the soundhole that’s "actually more elaborate than the one on my $14k Martin”.
Well, just take a look at this online review from one of the sad souls that actually fell for Esteban’s pitch.

Now, apparently this guy is actually a decent guitarist and has been ‘endorsed’ by Andres Segovia. But I’ve heard him play on these spots, and I’m far from convinced. Maybe I simply caught him on some off days, where the only things he could muster were truly cringe worthy versions of Unchained Melody, and Malaguena.

What really gets me, though…the thing that totally ignites my fury,… is that Esteban, just like Ottmar Leibert, Aramik, Jesse Cook, etc. actually claims to play Flamenco. Sorry folks. Take it from someone who actually knows a thing or two about the subject. Infusing your recording titles with words like ‘Gypsy Passion’ ‘Flamenco Wind’ & ‘Desert Flame’ aint gonna do it. It’s not only that he’s a total square, but if he is in fact a former student of Segovia’s, that don’t mean much either. Not because Segovia is not one of the greatest classical guitarist of our time, but because he IS. Classical musicians are notorious for not grasping the true spirit & rhythm of flamenco. They’re too technical. And yes, I will admit that likewise, I’ve yet to find a flamenco musician that can correctly perform a classical composition. It’s just the way the world works, people.

Anyhoo...I can’t really condemn the guy for selling cds. And if he wants to be a nerd, he can be a nerd. If people want to spend $99 on a $20 piece of wood with some strings on it, they are free to do so. This post is merely to serve as a personal rant on how excruciatingly cheesy I think this guy and his music are. And how utterly ridiculous it is that all these clueless people keep calling a potbellied wannabe a ‘guitar master’ and a ‘musical genius’.
Uuyyy. Puuulease.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

New Pledge (with Lemon Fresh Scent) 

So, there is a new case coming before the Supreme Court. Another safari into the knotted debate of the separation between Church & State.

This new issue? The presence of the word GOD in the Pledge of Allegiance. Michael Newdow, an atheist father from Elk Grove, California, says that his daughter being directed to recite the Pledge with the word GOD, infringes on his Constitutional right to Freedom of Religion.

Yes, Folks. He claims the Pledge, is unconstitutional.
The FUCKING PLEDGE of ALLEGIANCE, PEOPLE!!!! UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!!!!

For those readers who live in countries other then the US, the Pledge of Allegiance is short little recitation, written in 1892 for a Columbus Day celebration. It was used during a schoolhouse flag raising ceremony. It caught on, and eventually was being recited every morning in every school in the country.
It goes a little something like this:

"I Pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for Which it Stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty & justice for all."

Now this guy's argument is that he is and Atheist, and that by his daughter uttering the word GOD, she is being tricked into admitting to the existence of a God, which to HIM, is like a 'Slap in the Face'. He was quoted as saying, "Every morning, she is being forced to say that her daddy is wrong". He skipped over the little part about not actually being her daddy, (he’s her mom’s boyfriend) and that she actually LIKES saying the pledge, and that her Mother likes her saying the pledge.

Now, I'm no jingoist. Not by a long shot. I just happen to find this a tad...oh I don't know...slightly...Fucking Ridiculous.

First of all, you would have to assume that this 9 year old kid actually knows what the hell she's saying. 'Republic'? 'Indivisible'? Christ, the girl just wants to get it over with so she can sit down. I guarantee it
I mean, as for me, I know that I never paid much attention to it. I simply assumed that that's what you DID at school. And I was right. We'd stand up every morning, face the little flag above the chalkboard, and lyrically butcher the 100 year old, nontoxic sentence. Then sit down, and jump right into goof-off mode. We didn’t sit down and talk about how great our country was, and how we wanted to be just like Abe Lincoln when we grew up. Man, we couldn't give a shit. Nobody's slapping anybody's Step-dad’s face.

It reminds me a lot of little league sports. You know how the parents will run out and punch the umpire because he's being 'unfair' to their kid, and then start beating him with a baseball bat. Meanwhile the kids all start crying because all they want to do is play ball.

The question is not whether or not this guy may have a point. To be honest...shit, maybe he does. (in regard to the 'language' of it anyway). But the question that I pose, is: why bother? It's not an admirable Robin Hood crusade for the people, it's just one big pain in the ass. Children have already been given the freedom to 'opt out' of the pledge, several years ago. So what's the point of this?
The guy is not being forced to say the pledge, the Girl's not being forced to say the pledge, he has no custody over her ANYWAY...So...?
Again, I'm all for personal freedoms and such, but this is simply exhausting me. I say Enough already. Enough with the suing. Enough with cry-baby attitude. I mean, we're not talking the Viet-Nam draft here, folks. Just because people like me said the Pledge of Allegiance every morning for years & years, and had parents that refrained from condemning it's truly EVIL message of Liberty and Justice, it doesn't necessarily put me in a hot tub with G.W., scrubbing his back with a luffa.

- Oh by the way. I've decided that the fact that the American Flag is Red White & Blue, mocks my optical disability of being Color-Blind. I am campaigning to create a new flag that is black & white. That's sure to inspire a whole bunch of other crazy cases. Of course, I might then have to start a NEW law suit that fights the wasting of my tax money on stupid shite like this in the first place. I want my tax money used for those things that REALLY matter...the construction of bigger & better sports stadiums.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Eat a Guru, Today. 

I've only seen one person in my life eat a Green Guru Vegetarian Frozen Dinner. I don't know anything about them, but here's my commercial none the less.

Every day, Bradley looks forward to lunch-time. Why? Well, because that's when he consults his Guru. His GREEN Guru, that is.




Green Guru Microwave Dinners are the best way for vegetarians to grab a quick, tasty, and HEALTHY bite.



20 seconds to Enlightenment.









The Guru says, "The Kofta Curry with Basmati Rice will awaken your senses."


Bradley says, "The vegetable dumplings are not of this world!"





The only Bad thing about eating a Green Guru Microwave Dinner, is that eventually, you finish it.










Looks like a match made in eternal Paradise.